In abstention classes for young adults, one of the presentations is a contrast study between Love and Lust with Lust being disguised in the euphemism of Infatuation.
The five purported Languages of Love are: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Physical Touch, and Acts of Service. This Language package is offered to us in a number of ways.
This is how I add it all up:
The deluxe set of all five languages is the Spiritual Set. When you share all five languages with another person, this is the basis of a “Soul Mates” coupling. When you have this completed feeling with one another - a relationship or marriage can be sustained through eternity.
Combinations of three or four languages make for hearty relationships that can withstand hardships and usually the tests of time because of shared (overlapping) languages between partners.
Singular and doubled languages are a bit more trying as these can leave a person filling in the language barrier with fantasy and folly. Not the basis for long term relationships.
For example: If you are a Quality Time type who needs /wants to spend every waking moment with your partner but they do not share that language then it can be smothering. If your language is Gifts and you are a gourmet chef but your partner is an Acts of Service vegetarian then this also doesn’t work in the long run.
When they say you can change someone – what is really meant is that you can force them to use a language they cannot speak. You can’t – They won’t.
We are all amazed when the bad boy with all the notches finds love and settles in or the town flirt is finally married. We state with authority that they have changed their ways.
They have not changed their ways.
Add it up. Figure it out.
They have found someone who speaks their language.